I am full of mixed emotions. Yesterday during church everything suddenly became so real. I am actually doing this! During the sacrament hymn "I believe In Christ" which just so happens to be my favorite I was overcome with emotion. I listened carefully to the words, and I felt how real my Savior was to me. I know He lives, and I know He provided the ultimate sacrifice of love for each and everyone of us. Because of Him I can become perfected through His atonement. Because of Him I can feel peace in a troubling world. Because of Him I can live and know that there is a divine plan in store for me. Because of Him I am doing what I am doing.
Yesterday was also the first day where I felt nervous. All throughout this process I have been pretty calm and most definitely excited, however yesterday I began to get nervous. What if I get out there and mess up? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I have nothing to say (which is you know me you know that is very unusual)? A million questions were circling my mind, but somehow I was able to find peace. Somehow I knew that if I put my trust in the Lord and did all I could do, I would be alright.
I was set apart as a full-time missionary for the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints on Sunday the 2nd. The blessing was short but incredibly powerful. Tears dripped down my face as the words were spoken and when the prayer was over I knew without a doubt I was making the right decision on serving a mission.
And so the goodbyes began. In the words of Lloyd Christmas from Dumb and Dumber, "I hate goodbyes." Each goodbye got harder and harder. The first goodbye was to my adorable twin two year old cousins. I look into their eyes and told them I loved them. I knew they would be the one's to change the most while I am gone. This morning I said goodbye to my sister. That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. We have been best friends since the day we were born. It's going to be hard to be separated.
A mission is full of sacrifice. It is full of hard work and dedication. I realize it will be difficult, probably the hardest thing I will do, but I also realize how much it will help me grow. I need this is my life. I love the church I belong to and I feel selfish not to share it with others. One of the best things about a mission is that I leave my family for a year and a half, to help other families be together forever. I am delighted and grateful for this opportunity. I look forward to a new and challenging adventure. Dr. Seuss in "Oh The Places You'll Go" stated, "Today is your day, you're off to new places. You're off and away. "So here goes nothing. We are headed to Utah where I will enter the Provo mission training center on Wednesday the 5th. I am excited to see where this journey will take me.
And lastly how are grateful I am for you! That's right YOU! The person reading this. If you are reading this you hold a special place in my heart. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. I am overcome with your support and love. God be with you till we meet again my lovely friends and family! I look forward to hearing from you while I am out there in the mission field.
Love Sister Mathis
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